Supervillains don't wear crocs for a reason

How do you say 'Get out of my way, you insignificant worm!' without opening your mouth? You pick the right clothes.

Imagine that you are doing your grocery shopping, and a supervillain walks into the store (no, I don't know how many supervillains do their own grocery shopping, but stay with me for a second). If the supervillain is wearing a black cape with red boots and a bloody skull on his chest, you are not going to argue with him about the last bottle of milk. But, if the supervillain is just wearing a T-shirt, bermudas, and some crocs, you may get in an argument with him about the last bottle of milk. Which would be unfortunate because crocs or not, he is a supervillain, and will probably disintegrate you with his death-ray gun.

Supervillains understand the power of clothes. Bermudas and T-shirts will not make your enemies surrender in fear. The black cape and the bloody skull help.

We may not agree with their methods, but there's something we can learn from supervillains; people react to the way you dress and will treat you accordingly. If you dress like a supervillain, people will be scared of you. If you dress like a teenager, you will be treated as one. The lesson here is not start dressing like a supervillain, but start dressing like a man, and not like a kid.

How can you not dress as a teenager? There are many ways, but I would suggest you start reading ‘You, but Dapper', mainly because I wrote it, and also because it will not bore you to death.

A dressing guide for men who don't give a sh*t about dressing, or guides

History teaches us that things change. Take Shrek, or Luke Skywalker. They were minding their own business and suddenly they found themselves in the middle of a sh*t storm.

So, yeah, something similar could happen to you. You meet this girl and she turns out to be this very sophisticated vampire, who belongs to a very secret society, and she invites you to one of their parties, where everyone wears elegant cocktail dresses. That's the moment when you realise that you can't keep wearing jeans and T-shirts, because now you have a very sophisticated girlfriend, and you like her a lot.

What would you do then? Exactly. Look for a dressing guide for people who, like you, didn't give a f*ck about dressing guides until now.

Worry not my friend, because I had anticipated that scenario. That's why I wrote 'You, but Dapper'. I made it very easy to read, light on words and heavy on pictures, so you can easily pick an outfit, dress up and go to the vampire's party.